Protecting the earth isn’t always easy. Neither is saving money. In fact, sometimes it can be downright hard work. Becoming frugally green requires a shift in lifestyle design that a lot of people just aren’t comfortable with. Living consciously is an important virtue, but it isn’t easy. So what can you do if you’re just not up to the challenge?
Here are 8 steps you can take to make sure you avoid the hassle of living an environmentally and financially conscious lifestyle. You won’t make the world a better place, you probably won’t save any money, and you certainly won’t grow as a conscious individual, but everyone around you living similarly mediocre and unconscious lives will likely be very impressed.
Always buy cheap
Never mind that each piece came from a different corner of the world, was produced in a highly toxic facility and that you’ll have to buy another one when it breaks in a month because it was so poorly constructed by underpaid third-world slaves in a sweatshop at 3 AM on Christmas. Your friends will be impressed that you’re so thrifty. You always find the best deals!
Always buy “green”
This option is easy to spot because they made the box twice as big to fit all the reasons why it saves the world on it. Rather than figure out how to improve the product, they hired a new marketing team to “accentuate” all the “green” details that weren’t so important before. Don’t even look at the price or comparison shop, just eat it up because the best way to lead a sustainable life is to surround yourself with things that tell everyone else that you care.
Talk a big game
The more you know about the green culture, the more you can tell other people about it. Keep up appearances by trading tricks and tips with all your friends. Don’t bother actually implementing them. That takes time and effort. Besides, the more people you tell about all the great stuff you know, the less you actually have to do. As long as they’re all doing it, it won’t make much difference if you do. But, what if they’re all like you?
Ridicule your friends
Don’t give up. They’re only one more insulting comment away from seeing everything your way! The only way to influence people to live like you do is to shove your lifestyle down their throats. Get in arguments. Shout louder when they offer different perspectives. They won’t get it until you’ve uncovered every last undesirable characteristic they possess. Careful with this tip, though. They won’t have to dig too deep to retaliate.
Produce more energy, don’t conserve it
The more renewable energy you create, the less you need to worry about conserving it. If you’ve got the money, buy a few more to power the sauna and the 72” plasma TV in your theater room. There’s no need to reduce consumption when the electricity you generate makes you feel so good about yourself. If you don’t read your electricity bill, you won’t even notice that it hasn’t changed. This is another friend impresser. Throw parties once a year to show off the windmill in your back yard. Make sure there’s a great view of it from the hot tub.
Donate but never volunteer
It’s long been known that the more money you throw at a problem, the easier and faster it is to fix. Take this to heart and send a few dollars out to worthy foundations here or there, but only if you get your name on a plaque or something. Remember, though, don’t ever give them any identifying information you don’t have to. Someday they might actually ask if you’d like to help and you don’t have time for that. Besides, what do they need your time for when they have your money? Plenty of others are sure to help, right? Showing up might open you up to other changes you need to make in your life. You’re busy and don’t have time for this either.
Never challenge yourself to do more
Find a nice comfortable spot and stay there. This is the easiest way to get through life. And life is tough, so don’t add to it! Besides, you already do more than most people. Isn’t that good enough? When someone presents a great idea to you that sounds like work, politely brush it off while highlighting the other things you do. This is the best way to diffuse the request, as most people are very understanding. They won’t question your decision.
Don’t take risks
If you never take a risk, nothing will ever go wrong. You can feel good about yourself knowing that you’ve successfully navigated your way through life without ever causing a commotion. All those world changing ideas you have? They can’t be that original. Someone else will probably do them so don’t worry about it. Besides, what if you did give them a shot and they didn’t work out quite like you’d planned? People might think you’re a failure. Best to just fly under the radar.
The final word
There are plenty more ways to lead an average life, and quite honestly, there’s nothing wrong with average. But if you’ve found yourself here, then I’m going to guess that you’re probably someone that is looking for more. Looking back, I wrote this piece quite sarcastically. It might offend some, but I’m hoping it will inspire more.
There are no two ways around it. Living a meaningful and conscious life is hard work. Most people will opt for the easier route as their lives are hard enough as is, but if you’ve read this far, I believe you probably are, or at least have an urge to be one of the few that opts to break free from the sea of mediocrity. Congratulations. You have a long, often frustrating road ahead of you, but you know it’s worth it. Anyone can do it, most wont. Which one are you?
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